If I can't have you
by CoffeespazzumUSA
Summary: A song fic for Dean and Cass. They are in Bobby's safe room and are talking about the love they seem to have for each other.


I've always wanted to write a song fic but never really knew how to go about it. So I got this idea after I read zeza-66 's story Gravity.

The song this is If I can't have you from MeatLoaf's new CD. (I LOVE MEAT LOAF!) I've always wanted to do a Supernatural song fic from one of his songs because a lot of them can tie into Supernatural! If you like the classic rock, go look him up~

The lyrics are after the " ~ " and are also in bold.

I do not own the Song or Supernatural.

Enjoy~

**~ To say it's love would be too simple  
Too obvious  
It's more like a calling, a vocation  
Something I was  
Put on this earth to do  
Now I'm shooting with the stars  
And I'm flying with the angels  
And my heartbeat is a symphony the  
Closer I get to you**

Hey Cass, I think you might know why I brought you here but... You know it's strange. I never thought the one I would fall for would be someone like you. I mean an angel? Seriously what the hell was I thinking! What am I thinking! Plus you're a fricken guy. A GUY. I guess that's what I get for fucking all of those girls isn't it? Thanks God, I really appreciate it. But anyway, here I am, telling you all of this in Bobby's fricken safe room.  
But I can't get you out of my head. It's like your chewing on my brain and nothing can get you off.  
When we kiss, it's as if I'm flying with you and your wings are our guide.  
And when we fuck… Heh, well that's a different story...

when I get near you, it feels like my heart is going to explode and burst inside my chest. I'm sure even you can hear the heart beat of my soul right now.

**~ I never saw you comin' till you  
Came and here you are  
I never thought someone  
Would ever dare  
To come this far  
You're up for the resistance  
And I'm strong in my persistence  
And I've never known  
A remedy like ours**

Dean…  
I'm flattered you are telling me this for I feel the same way and I was not expecting this from you. I should tell you that, when I fell, it was for you. Everything was for you. I never saw this coming. When I pulled you out of Hell, something sparked inside your eyes, like a remedy and it sparked inside of me.  
An electric current zapped through both of us and for some reason and I couldn't be to far from you after that. And every time we look into each others eyes, that spark seems to flow between us once again without us even realizing it. It's something I never expected, never even imagined, and you've never backed out of it. Out of us.  
Don't worry, I will always be with you, because I can't bear to be parted from you for long.

**~If I can't have you  
I would be a river dried up  
Into dust  
I would be imprisoned  
For ever having loved  
If I can't have you  
I don't wanna be me  
Then I would be the same man  
You scraped off the ground  
I'd have to go back bein'  
That broken soul you found  
Those days are in the darkness  
I buried them with hardness  
And I'd have to dig those  
Demons out**

Cass... I don't know what or where I would be without you. If I can't have you, I would rather be back in Hell. You pulled me out of that hole and put my soul back together before I even realized it. If something ever happened to us, I would be back to that broken mangled man you pulled from hell. Those days are in the darkness now, forever to be buried in my grave.

**~ Your life is like anchor that puts  
Me in my place  
No you won't let me sink when  
I'm off losin' my way  
**  
Dean.  
You always seem to know how to pull me back into your arms, even when I'm mad at you and even confused with the emotions that rattle on inside me.

**~ Thank God for your virtue  
And the wisdom in your eye  
Cause somehow you  
Get through on  
All that crazy in my mind**

Jesus Cass, If it wasn't for you pitting up with everything that goes on inside MY mind I think I would have blown up by now! Thank God for that smartness of yours. You know how I tick somehow and you always get through to me. I don't know what would happen if we ever parted again... You remember that? That was...

**~If I can't have you  
I would be a river  
Dried up into dust  
I would be imprisoned for never  
Having loved  
If I can't have you  
I don't wanna be me**

I remember that well... I was afraid Dean, they beat me until I promised to obey them to the fullest. Saying those words to you, that I don't follow a humans orders, I was lying. Because that human was you and I would rather be in prison than not have you.

**~Why did it take you so long to  
Finally see  
That we had love  
That you don't find easily  
You broke my heart and the price  
To pay for that  
Is you'll have to live the misery of  
Losing what you had**

You broke my heart that day Cass. I almost didn't know what to with myself and I tried to keep it from Sammy. But he's to smart for that... It wasn't easy to not let you back in, I needed to hurt you as you did me.

**~ If I can't have you  
My words have come to late  
I've already turned that page  
Don't you look at me back and  
That's the part I hate**

Dean. You should know that after that... I didn't love you for awhile. But that spark between us, do I hate it so, kept bringing me back to you and that's the part I hate It seems… yet, do I love it so.  
**  
~ I'll stay trapped inside my hell  
Where it's so hot  
That my walls melt  
And I can hear a promise  
In every lie you said  
You'd never tell  
If I had only told the truth  
Oh I could never trust you to**

Castiel as I said before I would rather be trapped inside my own hell where everything just burns to no end if you weren't here with me on this cold Earth we call home. And all of those lies you told me because of what 'higher power' told you to say, I knew there was promise behind them. If only you told the truth... But I know you wouldn't tell the truth back then.

**~ You'll survive**

You would have survived Dean.

**~ No I will die**

I would have died without you and still would if you left.

**~ If I can't have you  
If I can't have you  
Then I'm sorry for the things I  
Cost you in the end  
My punishment is more than any  
Man can stand  
I need you in my life  
I can't let go**

Cass listen to me! Don't leave me again I can see something cooking up in your eyes, im sorry for everything that I caused you. The fall, becoming human, everything! It more than any man could bear, could stand! And I'm willing to take that punishment for you because... Because I need you in my life and I can't just let us go!

**~ Why don't you stay with me  
Tonight  
I feel alone  
Turn off all the lights  
Take me home  
If I can't have you  
If I can't have you  
Then I would be a river  
Dried up into dust**

Cass! Look at me, let me see those eyes of yours that I can't ever seem to take my own eyes off of! Please, I feel so alone without you. Cass stay with me tonight. Well turn off the lights and go back home to where we won't ever feel alone... Did I just rhyme? Jesus I think I did...  
Cass, without you, I would be like a raging river who suddenly burst into flames and shriveled into dust.

**~ I would be imprisoned  
For ever having loved  
If I can't have you  
I don't wanna be me**

Dean... That last statement doesn't make any sense. Yes I know it doesn't have to I just thought I would say it... Dean I won't leave you again why are you even thinking that? Cause I simply can't. I too would rather be in prison for ever having loved you and I still would for that matter. If I can't have you, I would rather be Michael or even Lucifer. But I'm not, and this is me. Castiel, telling you that... I love you Dean Winchester.  
**  
~ To say it's love would be too simple**

It took you this long to admit it huh? Heh... You crazy angel. But if you're crazy then I'm crazy to huh? Nothing is simple with a Winchester is it?

Cass...

I love you too

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